The funny thing about weddings

Lily has been obssessively looking at wedding dresses online (don't tell Cody) ever since she saw 'her' dress in the movie Ella Enchanted. My role in this business is to sporadically peer over her shoulder and provide color commentary (read: sarcasm). Happily, I have discovered that the wedding gown industry provides a fount of unintentionally amusing pictures. A few of my favorites follow.

Allow me to preface the following by saying that it is not my intent to slander any of these lovely dresses-slash-models-slash-sets. It's the combinations of the three that keeps me giggling.

Oh, drat. Walked through poo.

Eden Bridals

Hmmm… Let’s see. I’m sure there was something I was supposed to be doing.

Eden Bridals

Marie Ann was having that dream again. She was on stage, she’d forgotten her lines, and she was wearing a paper drinking cone.

Eden Bridals

To heck with getting married. Random stranger, take me now.

Eden Bridals

Here’s your kid. Let’s get married.

Eden Bridals

Special edition ‘Bring It’ Bride Barbie^TM

Eden Bridals

Rolling out the red carpet.

Alfred Angelo

Next time steal stand with mannequin.

Alfred Angelo

Bride in forcefield.

Alfred Angelo

Joann had always wanted to get married in an elevator.

Da Vinci Bridal

A dress deserving of a padded room.

Da Vinci Bridal

Proud owner of the world’s only curtain sheers/bed shammy wedding gown.

Da Vinci Bridal

Caterpillar bride.

Da Vinci Bridal

Pancake bride.

Da Vinci Bridal

Bride/Skateboard ramp.

Da Vinci Bridal

You’re right. The bow does make our butt look big.

Da Vinci Bridal

Priorities

“Where are your keys?” Tom asks me, flipping through my baskets of junk-to-take-home by the back door.

Without looking up I indicate a heap of my clothes. “Clipped to my pants.”

Tom’s already spotted them, and he snags them from the belt loop. Heading toward the garage he throws back the inevitable snarky comment: “I could take your pants, but I’ll be nice and just take the keys.”

“Where are your keys?” I ask. Since we just spent the greater part of the evening searching the house for them it’s a fair question, if a loaded one.

“Upstairs—in my pants. I just wanted to get my book out of the car.”

I shrug, turning back to my own reading. “Well, as long as we both know where our keys are.”

Tom grins. “No, no. The important thing is that we both know where our pants are.”

Aesthetic Appeal

So the last time I was home on break I discovered that Dad-wife version 3.0 decoratively folds her Kleenex. I’m talking she takes the first tissue out of the box, thus rendering the patented Kleenex pop-up mechanism defunct, folds the tissue into a tiny fan, and tucks it artistically back into the box. Tom’s comment on the situation: “Yeah, it’s weird because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to use that tissue or not.” People, if your decorating techniques are creating ethical dilemmas over the issue of how to blow your nose this is not normal.

In other news my mother really enjoyed our repeated efforts to correct her tired old tissue presentation style. Much Kleenex origami ensued.

Images from http://officeproducts.fedexkinkos.com/ and http://www.whiteaisle.com/. And me. Both of the sites have said products available for sale. Buy and combine and your home too can be classy!